Enough is enough

Everybody makes mistakes. For me, the hardest part is recognizing what I need to learn from them. I can pick apart and see the negative sides for as many hours possible in a day... but is that even beneficial? Hardly.

I recently had a conversation with my parents where I told them how I came to the realization that I am an enabler. I thought I had good characteristics of being a good listener, of being a good friend... but I think I went to the extreme. I allow people to push their opinions on me so they can vent. I do things that I don't necessarily want to do as long as it makes somebody else happy. I like to see people happy. I don't like negative situations. I do anything and everything possible to ensure the people around me are comfortable. I usually put myself at the bottom of the chain in terms of who needs what and how crucial it is. But at what cost?

Enough is enough. I will not put myself in sour situations. I know what these situations are and I can't allow them to happen. Example, Creed. I still get texts from him. Almost like he is purposely trying to mess with my mind. I don't know if he honestly wants to be friends or if he is trying to parade his life in a way to make me jealous. It doesn't matter to me either way. The time of my life when Creed was a part of it is over. Being straightforward- The time with Creed was one of the most difficult, negative, awful, times of my life. If it were not for the strength of my family and the constant love and support from them, I do not know if I would have ever been able to talk about what happened and open up about the ill-treatment and essentially free myself from that dreadful circumstance. I go along with the texts to be a good friend. I let him ask me medical questions when Brittany (his girlfriend/fiance') was going through health problems. I don't know why I placate Creed. It isn't going to happen anymore.

There are a few people I get texts from and I try to be nice. I don't know why. However, today I realized how cutting that really is. I hurt a good friend. One of my best friends while I have been in St. George. The worst part... I don't know how to repair it... if that is even possible. Trying to make the less-important people in my life comfortable and happy really damaged the most important friendship for me right now.

I guess I should have known it would bite me eventually. The thought of everything makes me sick. I am upset with myself for enabling Creed and the other people. I'm upset I haven't openly expressed my views and made my values known. I'm upset about breaking a friendship with a man who shows me that gentlemen do exist. Well.... It is time to make some changes. I wont allow myself to be walked over. I can't jeopardize what is important to me. I wont major in the minors.

I know this post isn't exactly happy. It isn't the attitude I try to possess. It's lengthy. But I had to acknowledge my mistakes, have the self-realization of where I need to make changes.

"Sometimes the hardest thing in life is deciding which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn."

Run, baby run!

At the beginning of January my brother, Brian, completed his first marathon! That deserves a big round of applause! He participated in a marathon at Lake Mead in Nevada. It was so fun to see him accomplish something so incredible!

My dad ran out to mile 20 to finish the last six miles while Stanton went into Las Vegas, (he got amazingly rare tickets to an event in the city) and my mom, Jared, and I went to Hoover Dam. It was my very first time visiting and I loved it! I plan to go back again sometime soon!

Brian completed the marathon in just over five hours. He was exhausted but still maintained a great attitude. He hugged everybody and he even managed to pose for my photo shots and participate in an interview setting while Jared had video recording. He had a smile on his face the whole time.

I have wanted to run a marathon since Sophomore year in high school. Possibly earlier! I don't know why I never took action, I just didn't. However, Brian made an impact on my life. I saw hi m make his mind up and it inspired me to do the same. So.... drumroll.... I am officially registered for the Utah Valley Marathon on June 11, 2011!!!

I am really going to run a marathon!! I signed up and registered yesterday afternoon! I am so excited!! Wish me luck! I hope to have as much success as Brian! :)

"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or gazelle - when the sun comes up, you'd better be running."

~Author Unknown

p.s. Sorry they pictures are backwards... oops! :)

Update.. Again?

So... I write.. then wait months... then write... then wait months. I'm starting to believe this blog was strictly set up for updates only. I guess a picture is worth a thousand words so I will let them do the talking :)

"Making creativity through diversity"

Menu Bandits

Noah and me

My zombie self

Zombie Zumba!

Halloween make-up for work

Visitor at work

"Cause this is Thriller..."

"... Thriller night"

California Adventure!

DSC homecoming football game

Color our tomorrows with the best of our yesterdays :)

Yes, I cried during this video.

"Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope."

~Author unknown

Healing for Life

Yet another reason why I love my job.

"To ease another's heartache is to forget one's own."

~Abraham Lincoln

Families Can Be Together Forever

Today I went with Tiera to take photos for her photography class. We went to Santa Clara, Dixie Rock, and the St. George Temple. I was really excited to go to the temple!

We got to the temple and sat on the sidewalk by the stairs on the east side. While we were there I heard a mother talking to her son. He was maybe two or three years old.

She told him, "Did you know Mommy and Daddy got married in the temple so we could be a family forever?"

It was just about the cutest thing I have heard in a while. :)

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. 'Children are an heritage of the Lore' (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."

~ The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

Sometimes.. you have to play the game

So.. the biggest news of recently is I got a job! Anybody who reads this already knows, but it is great therapy for me to type it out. I work with Intermountain Healthcare. I have waited for a job with Intermountain for years and years so it is a dream come true! I am an employee on the Acute Rehab floor working night shift. That has been quite the task for me since I was the person who ALWAYS fell asleep first... but I like it. I work with amazing people! Staying awake isn't too bad as long as I get a nap during the day. I am SO SO SO happy to work with Intermountain and in a hospital setting!

I love my new house. I actually rearranged my room today. It is beautiful and I have fabulous roommates. It looks like a real house and it is beautiful. I am surrounded by good influences and I get to spend time with my brother, a lot. I feel like it was a great move for me. It is a step in the right direction.

I still have my bumps in the road. We all have our cross to carry. I have had plenty of set backs.. it is clear by reading this blog. This is where most of my troubles pan out. I still don't feel like all of my pieces are put together.. and I don't feel like everything is right at this exact moment... but I know it is what I am supposed to be doing. This is what I need to do. This will help me become the person I know I am.

"Nothing is permanent in this world. Not even our troubles." ~ Charlie Chaplin